Our short but pleasant visit drew to a close.

“Before you go,” she said, “I have to get something off my mind.” Nancy, my friend and my great-niece-in-law, shifted on the plush, white sofa. “It’s been buzzing around in my head, and I have to get it out.”

“Oh, my,” I thought. “What did I do?”

“That one post that you wrote including my words,” Nancy began.

“Yes. That was a couple weeks ago. ‘Altered Focus.’ “

“Well, you asked whether or not you could use my name; and I said that you could. However, you used Heidi’s name but not mine. And I was hurt by that. And I’ve been wondering why. You only referred to me as a cancer patient. Why did you do that?”

My mind raced to remember the reason. Yet before I had settled on it, I had already begun to answer her question. “I read that over several times, wrestling with whether or not I should use your name. I wanted your words to have maximum impact on the reader.”

The more I spoke, the more the reason returned to my memory, and the more certain I became of it.

I continued. “You suffer greatly; yet, you said what you said. ‘I am not the least bit frightened. I have no expectations. I will embrace my new beginning when it comes.’ I wanted the reader to be impressed that those words came from a true sufferer, a stage-four cancer victim.”

After a slight pause to consider, Nancy responded. “I understand. I’m glad to know your reasoning. But to refer to me merely as a cancer patient gave me no identity. We are more than just patients. We have identities. We have names.”

Of course, I sincerely apologized for my oversight. I do regret the emotional pain that it brought to Nancy, and by extension, other cancer victims.

How often do I offend without any intention–without knowledge that I my words or actions have hurt someone? And how often do the offended retaliate in kind? And so the vicious cycle of hurt and be hurt continues to roll along through time and humanity.

The law of love, given by Jesus, breaks the cycle. He said, “Love one another as I have loved you.” (John 15:12, KJV)

Nancy loves me enough to tell me how my wording hurt her. I love her enough to dispense with defense. She loves me enough to accept my reasoning and to explain the cause behind her pain. I love her enough to share a bit of that pain, which makes me more aware of the perspective of others.

My heartfelt apology, in effect, was a confession of sin and a request for forgiveness. She expressed her forgiveness with these words, “…know our relationship was not and is not harmed.”

Our moment of truth resolved misunderstanding and hurt. . . in love. How is this possible? For one thing, as Gabrielle announces in Luke 1:37: “Nothing is impossible with God.” And God Himself through Jesus said, “Loving Me empowers you to obey my commands.” (the Passion Translation)

How well do you love the Lord God?