A Father’s Day Tribute to Cal
As the final leg of our trip to Stonehenge and Highclere in April, we went to Wales. In Chepstow we visited Rick’s oldest grandson, Cal. His three children, under age ten, are evidence of the good parenting they’ve received from him.
They were friendly and comfortable amid adults whom they see infrequently including me, a complete stranger.
They quietly and resourcefully occupied themselves, allowing us adults to visit. Yet, they listened to our conversation and asked questions or made appropriate comments as we talked.
They were eager but not insistent to show us their latest crafts. They drew and painted pictures for us. The oldest daughter made plastic jewelry for Katie and me.
When the youngest sister, age six and severely disabled by cerebral palsy, screamed or cried, they did not appear embarrassed or upset. They took the outburst in stride because their dad knew just how to calm her.
Seeing Cal’s steady patience and controlled demeanor with his kids, especially with his handicapped daughter, coupled with his backstory convinced me to honor him with my Father’s Day post.
Cal, grew up in single parent home, the only son of Kristi, Rick’s, second child.
Grandpa Rick and Uncle Adam provided father figures for Cal, frequently taking him fishing and to sporting events.
He had a very unique experience as a 13-year-old. He served as a groomsman in the American wedding party of Kat and Rick, accompanying them to Portland in July of 2003. This trip was the first of many future international trips for him.
When he turned 17 in March of 2007, he joined the Army Rifles for the next nine years. After tours to Afghanistan and Iraq, he trained as a sharpshooter in Canada and the USA.
With that he was sent again to Iraq. Cal’s army career came to a shocking end when an RPG (rocket propelled grenade) obliterated the truck he was in, killing his commander and friend and shattering Cal’s leg.
After three operations that required the insertion of a rod and pins into his left leg, Cal was able to walk but unable to continue his military career.
He returned home to his wife and baby daughter. Soon, he welcomed a son. A couple years later, Arianna was born. Sadly, her physical challenges proved too much for Cal’s wife. She left her family, and Cal became a totally full-time Dad, caregiver, and homemaker.
The demands of her condition are incredibly stressful. Unable to walk, talk, or take care of her personal hygiene, she must be fed and clothed by another. Cal must carry her everywhere even though he suffers pain with his injured leg. Winter’s cold exacerbates his suffering because the metal in his leg freezes, and it takes a long time to thaw. As Cal states, “I know pain.”
Here we see Cal with Arianna. She holds an I-pad that she can operate easily because it only requires the use of her fingertips rather than the whole hand posture necessary for holding a pencil. They are attentive to each other.
Doctors say that Arianna will need this level of assistance for her entire life. Even now, Cal worries about who will care for her if anything should happen to him.
Although he fights PTSD and depression, he is determined to be the steady father figure that his kids need. They depend on him. He equally depends on them to provide him the lifesaving rhythm, discipline, motivation, and focus that he desperately needs for his daily survival..
As he says, “I love my kids. I live for them. Without them, where would I be?”
Indeed. And where would the world be if there were more sacrificial dads like Cal? He deserves a tribute.
Blessings, admiration and prayers for Cal and his dear family.